Monday, June 26, 2017

Review: Tampa

Tampa Tampa by Alissa Nutting
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

On the surface, Celeste Price and her husband are the perfect couple. He's a cop and she teaches junior high. However, her secret ravenous lust for young boys threatens to tear them apart...

Yeah, this is one of those polarizing books. It asks the uncomfortable question "If a gorgeous 26 year old teacher wants to bed a very willing 14 year old student of hers, is it really rape?" A wise man once wrote "the best villain is the one who thinks he's the hero" and Celeste definitely thinks she's in the right.

The book is written in a funny, vulgar style, so much so that you forget you're reading about a sociopathic child predator at times. The style reminds me of a more humorous, more vulgar Megan Abbott. The plot, however, is a sexuallized reverse Lolita, I guess. Celeste pursues and persuades a boy into a sexual relationship with her and they furiously bump uglies until the train gets derailed. A couple derailments, in fact. In some ways, it reminds me of a Jim Thompson book. You can tell how abnormal Celeste is and know it's only a matter of time before everything goes to several shades of shit.

The book made me feel dirtier than the floor of a porno theater but it was compulsively readable. It simultaneously made me wish I had a Playboy centerfold for a teacher in eighth grade and made me glad I didn't.

Uncomfortable but readable is my final feeling on the book. It was a gripping read and I'll be interested to read whatever Alissa Nutting writes next. Four out of five stars.

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Saturday, June 24, 2017

Review: The Voynich Manuscript

The Voynich Manuscript The Voynich Manuscript by Unknown
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The Voynich Manuscript is a book from the 15th century, written in a language no one can identify, let alone read. This book is divided into three sections: two introductions and the manuscript itself.

When this popped up on Netgalley, I had to give it a go. I've been aware of the Voynich Manuscript for about a decade and how often do you get to look at an undecipherable Renaissance era tome?

The introduction traces the Voynich manuscripts history from its discovery to modern day and hypothesizes its origins. Is it a scientist's enciphered journal or just meaningless gibberish?

I can see how people would arrive at either interpretation. There are some sections that look botanical, some medical, some astronomical, and some featuring naked women. As a sf/fantasy reader, the book most resembles a wizard's spell book or an alien explorer's journal. Maybe it's in a language older than mankind and its deciphering will wake Cthulhu from his dead and dreaming slumber on the floor of the Pacific.

The first section makes for somewhat interesting reading, if a little dry. The rest looks like someone's drawings and the kind of text you see when you try to read a book in your dreams. It's an interesting curiosity. I wouldn't mind having a physical version on my coffee table to flip through every now and again. Three out of five stars.

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Friday, June 23, 2017

Review: Hoodoo Harry

Hoodoo Harry Hoodoo Harry by Joe R. Lansdale
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

When Hap and Leonard are leaving the fishing hole, a book mobile driven by a twelve year old boy crashes into them, killing the boy and Leonard's truck. The mystery of the boy and the bookmobile sends them down a spider hole of kidnapping and murder..

I got this from Netgalley.

In Hoodoo Harry, Hap and Leonard are at it again, trying to get to the bottom of a book mobile that's been mising for fifteen years and the deceased boy who was driving it. After getting patched up, the boys drive out to Nesbit and dig into the past of the boy and the vehicle and its disappearance a decade and a half before.

Hoodoo Harry is a fairly short mystery novella. Lansdale used some classic misdirection. Even though I knew the suspect I picked probably didn't do it, he still pulled the wool over my eyes.

Hap, Leonard, Marvin Hanson, and Brett were all in fine form, although how much crime commited by Hap and Leonard can Marvin keep sweeping under the rug? He's police chief, not police god, as he remarked during the tale.

Hoodoo Harry was a lot of fun and a worth edition to the ongoing legend of Hap and Leonard. Four out of five stars.

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Joking Hazard

Joking Hazard
Publisher: the creators of Cyanide and Happiness
My Rating: 5 out of 5 stars










Back in the day, my girlfriend at the time turned me on to Cyanide and Happiness, a webcomic that was in alignment with my own twisted sense of humor.  Now, a decade later, the keys to the universe are in the hands of me and 2-4 of my closest friends.

Joking Hazard is a card game for people with a dark and twisted sense of humor.  The box includes 360 cards, each a panel from a Cyanide and Happiness strip, and the instruction sheet.  The game is pretty simple.  Whomever's turn it is flips over a card from the deck, adds one of their own to the strip, and the remaining players try to end the comic strip in the funniest of ways.

For example:

Yeah, it's a hilarious experience.  The replay value is pretty high.  We've played a few times now and it hasn't worn thin yet.  I'm chomping at the bit to get the expansions for even more demented fun.

Joking Hazard is a hilarious game that should appeal to fans of Cards Against Humanity and dark humor in general.  Five out of five stars.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Review: Hungry Darkness

Hungry Darkness Hungry Darkness by Gabino Iglesias
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

When a diver gets a grant from National Geographic to explore an undersea cave, he widens portions of it using explosives and unwittingly unleashes hell off the coast of Belize. The government turns to Gabriel Robles, a guide and diver, to find the beast and kill it. Can Gabriel do the job before he winds up the creature's next meal?

I've been following Gabino Iglesias since Gutmouth was part of the new bizarro author series. When Hungry Darkness went on sale for 99 cents, I couldn't pass it up. Since 2017 is apparently the year of the creature feature for me, this was right in my wheelhouse.

Hungry Darkness preys on the fear of the unknown and uses it to build suspense. Whether it's in an undersea cave or on the open water, no one is safe. Like most stories of this type, I have to compare it to Jaws, only the creature in Hungry Darkness is way smarter than any shark.

The cut scenes featuring other people getting killed and devoured also ratcheted up the suspense. While I knew not everyone would get out alive, the ending was still pretty satisfying. I almost hoped there were two creatures and one of them would eat the hero at the end.

The prose and the dialogue are pretty slick. At one point, the sunset was described as "a radioactive orange sinking into a barrel of oil" or something to that effect. There's really nothing bad I can say about this book. The characters are maybe a little thin but this is a book about a guy hunting a monster!

Hungry Darkness. Four out of five stars. Go buy it!

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Friday, June 16, 2017

Review: Fungoid

Fungoid Fungoid by William Meikle
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

When a horrible rain falls, ravenous fungus infects anyone it touches. Can Shaun make his way across Canada to reunite with his family before the fungus consumes the world?

Fungus and its life cycle have held a fascination for me since my first morel hunt and fungal fiction like City of Saints and Madmen holds a place in my heart. Fungoid now joins them in my chest cavity.

It started simply enough with rain, rain that burned and unleashed some kind of super fungus that consumed everything organic. The end of the world has arrived and it is by fungus. Imagine not being able to let a drop of rainwater touch you or you'll die horribly. That's the gist of things, at first, anyway.

Meikle uses several viewpoint characters to show how the fungoid chaos has spread across Canada. There are a couple hazmat guys, a mycologist, a woman taking care of her sons and the man on his way home to them. Some characters live and some die.

It's not until the fungus starts fruiting that the crazy shit really starts, when the fungus starts using its adaptations to kill even more people. I'll keep things vague but things went from bad to worse very quickly.

Fungoid is a survival horror tale somewhat reminiscent of John Wyndham's "cozy catastrophres," although there's nothing cozy about it. It's Fungin' great! Four out of five stars.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Review: Optical Delusion

Optical Delusion Optical Delusion by Hunter Shea
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

When Martin Blackstone's son is given a pair of X-Ray specs from a comic book, they don't seem to work. Martin puts them on and discovers a whole new world lurking just beneath the surface. How far will Martin's obsession with the X-Ray specs take him?

Hunter Shea is my go-to guy when it comes to fun horror. When this came up on Netgalley, I couldn't resist.

First we got a horror novel about sea monkeys. Now, X-Ray specs! Like most pre-pubescent boys who bought comics in the late 1970s and early 80s, I saw the ads for these and always wondered what it would be like to wear a pair.

Pretty horrific, it turns out. Sure, Martin cheats at poker and ogles the hottest woman in town but sometimes, you see too much. Optical Delusion is almost a tale of addiction for that reason. It's also gory good fun as Martin goes off the rails.

Much like Just Add Water, Optical Delusion is a love letter to those cheesy ads in the backs of comic books from years past, only this love letter is written in blood. Four out of five stars.

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