Bizarro Starter Kit (Orange)

The Bizarro Starter Kit by Carlton Mellick III

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


The Bizarro Starter Kits are designed to introduce people to the Bizarro genre. I, on the other hand, bought it so I could read The Baby Jesus Butt Plug in public without people harassing me. Here are some of the wonders contained within the Bizarro Starter Kit (Orange):
The collection starts with a collection of D. Harlan Wilson short stories. Cops & Bodybuilders was my favorite. What would you do if a bodybuilder showed up in your living room and started posing and wouldn't leave?

The Baby Jesus Butt Plug by Carlton Mellick III In a bizarre future, babies are kept as pets and baby jesuses are the most popular, though some people use them for nefarious sexual purposes. Mary and her husband are such a couple until their baby jesus has ideas of its own...

Yeah, this was pretty damn bizarre. Ever have your significant other ask you what you're laughing about and not daring to tell him or her? There's a lot of that in this one.

Extinction Journals by Jeremy Robert Johnson After a nuclear exchange, Dean wanders the ruins of the US in his suit made of cockroaches. Will he find any other survivors?

Aside from mentioning how disgusting/awesome the suit made out of cockroaches was, I can't say much else about this one without spoiling the plot. "Great post apocalypic tale with the added bonus of prominently featuring suit-forming symbiotic insects" is about the only thing I have to add.

The Greatest Fucking Moment in Sports by Kevin Donihe: Oscar Legba, insect enthusiast and America's big hope in the Tour de Saucisse-Dommages bicycle race, suffers the death of his coach the night before the big day. Can Legba prevail?

The Greatest Fucking Moment in Sports nicely illustrates the exaggerated importance America puts on sports and is hilarious. I almost died laughing when Legba was decapitated but his corpse continued with the race!

The collection also includes several other novellas and short stories. All things considered, it's a good Bizarro collection but I preferred Bizarro Starter Kit (Purple).



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