Tuesday, June 28, 2011

My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes!

My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes!My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes! by Bradley Sands

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Some books are so easy that you can devour them in an evening after drinking four or five Pabst Blue Ribbons for dinner. This isn't one of them.

What do the following items have in common?
* Entries from the Encyclopedia Orangutannicus
* The Eiffel Tower wearing a feather boa
* A reference to King Kong Bundy, the rightful winner of the main event at Wrestlemania II
* A waitress dropping a tip jar, spilling such tips as "The clitoris is located between the labia and the top of the vulva"
* A Hollywood producer named Jared Bruckheiny
* Captain Koala
* The instructions for writing a short story

If you think it's just gibberish I made up, you're mostly wrong. All of these are just a sampling of the ideas jammed within the pages of My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes!

Let's get down to brass tacks. I hate short story collections and I hate writing reviews for them even more. This one is a little different than most collections. Instead of a lot of teases with intriguing story ideas that peter out after a couple pages or two, MHSNBTCCS sandblasts you (Get it? the author's name is Bradley Sands? Sandblast? Get it?) with one absurd idea or situation after another.

Wordplay takes center stage in this collection and if you're not paying attention or slightly impaired, it'll go right by you. Where else are you going to see a scat burglar beebopping into a building to rob it or an enema that gets grandmothers? "Nowhere!" is the correct answer.

So, avoid this book if you can handle your neighbors laughing at you because they can handle it and you can't. Or pick it up now and show those jerks!

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